Travelled with a friend. Pretty sure this trip killed our friendship.
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Speaking of the May Day holiday, my friends and I went to Hangzhou for some fun – you know, that place with the beautiful West Lake. However, it was extremely crowded during holidays!
When booking our hotel, I asked everyone’s opinions one by one, and they all said "anything goes" or "just pick anything." Finally, we settled on a deal averaging only 140 RMB per person for a two-night stay which turned out to be a steal.
Upon arriving at the hotel, there was an awkward moment. The room wasn't quite what we visualized as a “loft” – contemporary and stylish, leading to an awkward atmosphere for a short while.
For dinner later, a friend started picking on me without hesitation; everything I opened my mouth to say was deemed wrong by her. She even went so far as to comment on my alma mater, competitions I had participated in, and awards I had received.
The following day, we headed to West Lake:
During morning time, things continued to go downhill as they made plans without consulting me beforehand, akin to a small retainer behind them carrying a camera.
I had no choice but to wait outside the souvenir shop after they left me there alone once we bought some souvenirs.
However, here comes the crucial part:
Tourist Safety Alert! Traffic Control in West Lake Scenic Area!
We didn’t realize then that the parking areas in the West Lake scenic area are strictly prohibited. Getting a taxi seemed quite challenging.I thought that I could cross the road and ask the traffic police for directions or where to hail a taxi instead. But my friend believed my move was futile and complained about constant communication with me becoming troublesome.
To avoid further disputes, we just stood curbside waiting for a taxi, an action fraught with dangers. Ultimately, a kindhearted taxi driver saw us and informed us, "You can't park here. You should take buses to your destination."
Unfortunately, that turned out to be too much of a hassle for us and caused us to miss our dinner reservation time.
Fortunately, it was finally our turn to enjoy a meal. We ordered Dongpo Pork – a famous dish in Hangzhou, slow-cooked layers of streaky pork belly.
I mentioned that "the Dongpo pork should be mixed to serve better" and asked the waiter to help cut it into pieces.They, however, refused: "No mixing needed, no need to split!" When I persistently demanded such modification, they said in mockery tone, "go right ahead, then," as a result I mixed it myself and their complaints ceased.
In the afternoon, we visited museums before getting on to the 'upper part' of the big West Lake. All along the way, I was guiding while they were chatting freely, sometimes my GPS faced some delays or signal problem, leading them to complain.
I tried to continue to stick to it, and it turned out that it was just them misreading the map route again, and they no longer said anything.
Afternoon time at the 'lower part of the lake,' people were countless!
Nobody talked to me there, I took the lead walking forward on my own. Then I went to the restroom (due to seeing nobody around, I assumed they were still ahead of me and that restrooms would be on another small street).And when I came back from my restroom stop, they had completely disappeared.
But we had agreed the destination to be Broken Bridge, so I followed along the trail looking at the pretty view.
They sent a group text asking my location; I replied back through GPS coordinate that I was going to meet up at the Broken Bridge.At this point, everyone was so numerous it was difficult for me to connect with my companions.
I eventually did reach the Broken Bridge and nearly left the area after having not seen any of them.
Then they replied and stated they would come over to Broken Bridge, yet not to look for me.
Fair enough, now I toured myself.It's already six o'clock and masses filled the path. Feeling super hungry, I found myself some nearby food; the market offered various snack choices along the way.
They asked if we should get something to eat.
They stated they are not that hungry.
So that became my reply: "Okay, I'm eating!"
Surprisingly, then came the follow-up question asking why I ate first and did I have plans to join them.
I was already having my share of snacks, now how am I supposed to go over?
Thus, there was no possibility of meeting up due to the overwhelming amount of people around.
So, I went home on my own accord.Ughh, they might have started mocking me in their group chat, and won't include me in next events.
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Thanks for all the comments, everyone. I'm back home now! Reading through them all, I'll definitely give this relationship some serious thought. If we can't remain friends in the end, I'll move on. And finally, a huge thank you to the people of Zhejiang!! Hangzhou is beautiful! Also, thanks to everyone who took the time to comment.
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Since no one else is saying it, I will. There's no need to judge anyone in this situation, simply because one person's account can't represent the whole truth. We only have the blogger's perspective here; how much is fact and how much is what the blogger believes to be fact? It's probably impossible for anyone to tell, including the blogger herself. For instance, 'When booking the hotel, I asked everyone, and they all said it was fine.' Without chat logs as proof, can we be sure everyone clearly agreed? Another example: Is it possible that the small group, excluding the blogger, was already a tighter-knit clique from the start? Is it possible the blogger tends to overthink things? (I'm not targeting the blogger, just trying to offer another viewpoint). Many other parts of the story are subjective descriptions colored by her emotions and perceptions. Therefore, we can't judge who's right or wrong based on a single perspective. However, the blogger felt uncomfortable, and that feeling is very real.
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Acknowledge your feelings. Choosing to end the friendship might be a good outcome. Alternatively, you could have an open and honest conversation with your friends to understand everyone's true thoughts before deciding whether to leave or stay.
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My heart just died after getting back to the hotel... I was completely ignored...
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I have no idea what the plan is for tomorrow... We were supposed to go sightseeing in the morning, but I was ignored, and now I'm too scared to ask... Someone help me.
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- She didn't want to do any planning, had no clue about attraction timings or routes. Didn't want to look at hotels, just said 'whatever' to everything. When I asked her to help book high-speed rail tickets, she said she didn't know how. After 20 minutes of teaching her, she just said she couldn't buy them, relying on me for everything. During the trip, I was scrambling and asked her to hail a cab. After 10 minutes, she hadn't gotten one – she was just busy on WeChat and then said she didn't know how. Are you traveling with a personal butler? 2. We didn't rent a car, so obviously, we had to take subways, taxis, and walk a lot. It's summer, so wearing light clothing is fine, but then she complained about the sun and not wanting to get tanned, yet had no sun sleeves. The moment we stepped out, she'd open her umbrella. Fine. But then she bought stuff she couldn't carry and made me hold it, while she just strolled along with her umbrella in one hand and phone in the other. 3. We'd only be out until noon, and she'd start complaining about being tired and hot, walking super slowly with a sour face. Dude, we only left at 10:30 AM, had a meal, and then started exploring. You're exhausted by 2 PM? Then why did you even come out? Am I supposed to deal with your attitude on vacation?
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- The funniest thing was when we randomly visited a temple and she drew a 'bad luck' fortune slip. I told her, 'Chinese people believe in themselves. If it's a good sign, thank the gods; if it's bad, then my fate is in my own hands, not heavens.' But she wouldn't listen and just got all emo. For the rest of the trip, she moped about her bad luck, always with a gloomy face, which was a real downer. Different mindsets really show through when traveling. 5. When you travel, you obviously want to try authentic local food. I suggested snacks; she didn't like them or want to try. I said I wanted to try local specialty dishes, as they best reflect the food culture; she didn't like those either. We go to a province known for spicy food, and what main course does she order? Dongpo pork?! We finally managed one meal of local cuisine, and it turned out to be Hangzhou-style food. Conclusion: In the future, I'll save up my money and travel alone. It's much happier than having to cater to some princess.
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Traveling really does show you people's true colors.
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Just a rant: you really can't travel with friends who've been in long-term relationships for ages. They do nothing, are still stuck in that 'being pampered' role, and then complain about this and that. It really makes you realize how different people are. As for emotional intelligence, it's like they say, 'you rise to the level of your company.' If you're not going to show any, then I'm not going to bother either.
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Yeah, after that, I rarely travel with friends who are in relationships.
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I think you express your thoughts and logic very clearly in writing.
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You try a loft once, and the magic is gone. Unless they're super expensive, they're usually pretty average and nothing like you imagine.
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So why did you go out with them? Who invited whom?
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They invited me...
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A loosely organized trip calls for a loosely-held approach. Friends who become 'loose' will gradually drift away. Time passes, and even the best memories can't change a person's altered heart and nature. Birds of a feather flock together; if it doesn't feel right, it's best to fade out of each other's lives.